I saw this gem on Reddit tonight. It was posted under a topic of “What ‘little’ things you can do to improve your relationship with your significant other.” I’m definitely taking this piece of advice with me into my next relationship. (via blakebaggott)
so i was JUST talking about this, i am literally talking about this right now and taking a break from the conversation so that i can be like BUT TUMBLR! because i have noticed that i, as well as i think the language of this particular website, do this thing where we’re like “lol i’m garbage because i haven’t done this thing/did this thing that is bad/have done this thing that is generally shitty” which makes us feel good because we are “acknowledging our faults,” except—we’re not really? because what we’re doing is turning our faults into a joke, forcing the people around us to deny it or minimize its importance, and then doing nothing to change the behavior.
"i haven’t done this thing i promised you that i’d do, because i am fundamentally a garbage person," places the onus of the person i am talking to either to say, "nooo, you’re not garbage, you’ve been busy!!" or to say, "it’s whatever, don’t worry about it." we’re giving ourselves an out by pretending to be acknowledging responsibility.
it’s like the shittiest way ever to acknowledge that you fucked up? if what you did was garbage, then say, “that was garbage, i’m going to do better,” and then … do better. that’s it. admitting that you’ve made a mistake is all fine and good, but if you don’t make any attempt to rectify it—or adjust the behavior going forward—than it’s kind of a useless exercise.
anyway, if i do this to you/have done this to you, i am sorry. i will try to be better. if i ever say to you, “i am garbage,” and then give you the eye that says QUICK TELL ME I’M NOT GARBAGE, i hope you feel totally comfortable being like, “tbh, yeah. you kind of are right now.”